Chapter 5: And They Don't Stop Coming

 

Shrek headed to Melone’s room. The piss has dried off by now. While he was on his way, he bumped into Illuso.

“Shrek, this is terrible!” he worried. “I didn’t want to bother you, but something happened to my dick when I got back to my body.”

The ogre sighed. “What is wrong with it?”

“It’s small!”

Shrek rolled his eyes and kept moving.

“It didn’t shrink!” the brunet yelled. “Merlin’s magic made Formaggio and I switch cocks!”

The ogre entered Melone’s room. When Melone first moved into this room, it was meant for Shrek and Fiona’s children. Of course, before the divorce, and they wanted to live in the swamps.

Melone was sowing some clothing for the baby. “Oh, Shrek, come have a seat. How are you, and what the hell is Formaggio yelling about this time?”

He sat down next to him.

“Illuso,” he corrected. “It was about something I could care less about."

“Oh,” he said, placing down the sowing kit on the end table. “Shrek, you didn’t answer my other question?”

“And what was the previous question?”

“How are you?”

“Shit,” he said. “I feel like shit. I’m miserable. Even Rohan treats me like shit.”

“What happened? Start from the beginning.”

“Well, I accidentally walked into Sorbet and Gelato getting it on. And I joined, but I don’t think they were expecting me.”

“Okay, keep going. I want to hear more,” Melone commented.

“Well, we fucked. We enjoyed ourselves, but I kind of wish they asked me to join instead of accidentally-- Ugh, just wait till we get there. Then I went into Formaggio and Illuso’s room, and they were naked. By the way, do you guys always have sex? You guys are kind of hypersexual.”

“I don’t know much about the others, but I’ve always been hypersexual. And then-- Shit, who did I have sex with first? Ah, it doesn’t matter, does it? Assassinations are stressful.”

“Okay, anyways--”

“Wait, I think I had sex with Risotto after we found out Sorbet and Gelato were a thing. I remember that day because I just wanted to be fucked hard. No, wait! It was Ghiaccio. Fuck, whatever. It was either one of them. Please continue, Shrek. Sorry.”

“Formaggio and Illuso were fucking. I was there to tell them that Merlin was here to change them back. Do you see this? Nobody invites me to sex until I walk in. Oh, except for that one time with Prosciutto and Pesci. Pesci pissed on me.”

“Oh, that explains the smell. But, Shrek.”

The ogre looked at him. Melone was closer to him than he remembered. The lilac-haired man closed his eyes, lips puckered. Shrek leaned towards him for a kiss, and they kissed. Melone got up from his seat and walked towards the bed, lying down.

“Do you want to have sex with me?”

“Yes, I do,” Shrek answered.

Just as the ogre got up from his seat, Ghiaccio busted the doors open with a kick, swearing.

“God fucking damn!” he yelled. “I’m so fucking tired of these damn witches and their fireballs. Also, I walked in on Prosciutto and Pesci screwing. That’s a sight I want to forget. I almost wished I didn’t get a new pair of glasses. By the way, they don’t have one in red. Also, I still have difficulties seeing from far away.” He walked towards the bed and laid down with Melone. “Ever since Pesci killed that one guy, he’s been kind of a douche,” he interrupted. “What the hell is up with that? We still have a higher kill count than him, except I lost count. I’ve never cared, to be honest, but he’s making it like it’s a contest. It’s one that he’ll never win. Wait till he sets foot out of Far Far Away. Although, that probably won’t happen. Do we still have spies trying to kill Arthur?”

“I don’t know,” Melone said. “Ask Risotto. He’s the spymaster. Or maybe Sorbet and Gelato.”

“If Arthur needed bodyguards, I’m sure Polpo would’ve sent his team on it. I wonder if that fat bastard is still in jail. You know, Shrek, you should’ve asked Merlin to summon them here.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Shrek said. “You’ve seen how Merlin’s spell backfired.”

Melone cleared his throat. “Hey, Ghiaccio, we were about to do something.”

“Oh?” he said.

“We were going to have sex.”

“Is it alright if I join?” Ghiaccio asked. “I need to relieve some stress.”

“I’m fine if you join. Shrek, what about you? Do you mind?”

“I don’t mind,” the ogre answered.

The three of them took off their clothes. Shrek and Ghiaccio looked at Melone’s stomach.

“Does it kick?” the ogre asked.

“Yeah, a little fighter, this one is,” Melone answered.

“What are you going to name it?” the blue-haired man asked.

“Junior.”

“Of course, why did I bother? Anyways, Shrek, do you mind if I top you?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.”

“I might start ranting. Do you mind? And Melone, what are you going to do?”

“You know I always don’t mind. However, I don’t want to do anal. Sorry, Shrek.”

“I’ve been spit-roasted lately, so I don’t want to do oral,” Shrek replied.

“Oh, understandable,” Melone said, “I don’t mind watching, but don’t forget about me.”

Shrek got on the bed on his fours with Ghiaccio behind him. The lilac-haired man brought the olive oil out of the nightstand and passed it to him. The assassin slapped the ogre’s ass.

“Damn, Shrek,” Ghiaccio commented, “your ass is flatter than a pancake. I’m trying to figure out who has the flattest ass. You or Melone?”

They both ignored his comment. The lilac-haired man watched as Ghiaccio slicked his cock with the oil and aligned himself to Shrek’s hole. Usually, most people start slow when penetrating, but Ghiaccio decided to drill his ass into oblivion. The ogre whimpered in pain, but he didn’t tell him to stop. His fingers grabbed the bedsheets. To Melone, it looked painful and gave Ghiaccio a concerned look. Shrek noticed.

“Oh, oh, fuck!” Shrek moaned. “I want this. If it hurts, I’ll tell him to stop. Just stroke yourself.”

He stroked himself, watching the two go at it. Their sex was wild and rabid, and he wished it was him. Although he knew that it’s safe to have sex while pregnant, he wasn’t sure if rough anal was okay. And from what he was seeing, it looked painful. As for the ogre, the pain turned into pleasure, and his moans became more pornographic. 

“Fuck, Shrek, turn around,” demanded Ghiaccio. “I want to do something.”

He turned around, showing his hard cock to him.

“God damn, that cock is so big,” the blue-haired man commented. “I want a taste of it. I miss sucking it so much.” He then grabbed his shaft, stroking. “Damn, you’re so big, and my hands are so small.” He tried to suck him off while giving him a hand job and while fucking his ass, but it was difficult doing all three at once. “Maybe I could suck you off later. I miss sucking it.”

“I’d like to suck it too, Shrek,” Melone said. “Thinking about makes me--” He stroked himself rapidly. “Oh, I’m going to cum.”

“Get closer to my face,” the ogre commanded.

Melone got closer to his face. Shrek stuck his tongue out as the lilac-haired man jizzed all over his face, swallowing every last drop.

“You taste so sweet,” he complimented, making the other blush.

“Ah, Shrek,” Ghiaccio moaned. “I’m getting close.”

He came inside Shrek’s hole, filling it with his hot load.

“Shrek,” Melone called his name, “you haven’t came yet.”

“I’m still horny as shit,” the ogre replied. “God, it hurts so much. I think I need the help from you two.”

“I have an idea,” Ghiaccio said. “Those magic wands might work.”

“Wait, you guys brought a sex toy?” Shrek replied.

“What, no. I think Melone would’ve found that. I was thinking that since you have a magic mirror that’s like a TV, I thought the magic wands would work like the sex toy magic wands.”

“If you know magic, then I supposed that could work, but nobody in this room knows magic to make it vibrate.”

“Of course, it’s always fucking magic,” Ghiaccio complained. While he was ranting, Melone began licking the tip of the ogre’s cock while fondling his balls, tongue swirling around it, and giving it kisses. “That made me wonder, why the hell are we needed? Wizards like Merlin could’ve killed your target by now. But no, you had to rely on stand users. We barely fucking survive some of these fights. Have you looked at--”

Shrek shoved Ghiaccio’s head to his cock.

“Oh,” he responded. “I’m sorry. I guess I got carried away.”

He assisted Melone with pleasuring the ogre. The blue-haired one then began to suck him off, bobbing his head up and down, taking in a few lengths while the other was licking Shrek’s balls. Shrek’s eyes rolled back. Close.

“Melone,” Shrek called out, “move. I’m about to nut.”

The lilac-haired man stopped and moved, watching the two. Shrek grabbed some of Ghiaccio’s hair and pulled him down and then up. He wasn’t used to getting facefucked and began gagging, but luckily for him, Shrek let go of him. The ogre finally came. A streak of white erupted from his cock, landing on Ghiaccio and Melone’s faces. For some reason, Shrek wouldn’t stop cumming.

“Shrek, what the fuck?” Ghiaccio yelled.

Melone stuck his tongue out to catch some of it.

“I can’t stop cumming,” Shrek panicked.

Ghiaccio tried to stop it by using his hands.

“Gee,” the ogre commented, “why didn’t I think of that before? Because that’s going to stop the problem.”

“You can stop being sarcastic with me.”

“Just get dressed and--”

He stopped cumming. They looked at the puddle of cum he left.

“That was strange,” commented Ghiaccio. “Well, I’ll try to find a servant to clean this up.”

Melone giggled. “No need.” He began licking the jizz from the floor.

“Well, that’s what I needed,” Shrek said. “I, uh, I guess I’ll leave you to clean that. I should probably go to Rohan. He’s probably wondering where I’m at.”