NEMO-Buttrice

  Formaggio sat alone at the bar with his drink, bored and playing with the bottle in his hand. Earlier, he had come to the bar hoping for a quick fuck from a pretty or handsome face, but the women’s faces looked similar, and the guys weren’t attractive. Even when he got desperate and asked, he got rejected. God, he’d been so horny since he had this dream about an ogre. He had a hard-on right now, thinking about him. Formaggio began touching the bulge in his pants. Fuck, I’ll whip it out. I don’t give a fuck anymore, he thought, unzipping his pants. I’ll just kill whoever sees me. Someone from the bar screamed, causing him to look. “It’s an ogre!” someone shouted. The rest of the bar cleared out using the fire exit. Now the ogre and Formaggio were the only ones. “You!” they both said simultaneously. “Me?” they said at the same time again. “You first.” “Damn it!” “I’m Shrek.” “I’m Formaggio.” “Well, that’s...

  “Hmm,” Puss in Boots commented. “That sounds like something that happened to me a few years ago, but I thought that only happened to animals. I can’t remember what he said. Bah! This is why I don’t trust wizards.” He took a sip of his glass of milk. The brunet man with six pigtails sighed. “You never knew the name of the original body owner, if that’s what you call it. His name is Illuso.” He took a sip from the tankard and sighed. “You managed to get back in your body. How did you do it?” “Merlin realized the mistake and returned to us. Of course, something still went wrong, but everything is all fixed.” “But that was all fixed shortly, correct?” “Yeah, but I’m not sure why Merlin hasn’t done anything about your problem yet.” Formaggio chugged the last of his ale and then wiped his mouth. “It’s getting late. I should head home. You’re a real friend, Puss.” “Any time,” he said. Formaggio walked back to the castle. The sun was setting. He sig...

  With the very little money La Squadra was making, Formaggio wandered the streets of Napoli. His stomach growled. Maybe if he was smart with his money, he'd spend it on food instead of clothing.  As he was walking down an alleyway, he noticed a dumpster. He sighed as he approached it. It reeked.  “Wait, stop right there,” said a man. Formaggio turned around. The person wasn't human at all. He was green and big. He was an ogre. “You have no money, right?” “Well… I kind of do,” Formaggio answered. “Let me guess, you have at least $7?” “And if I do.” “I could give you more.” “How so?” “I’ll give you some money if you let me have some fun with you,” he spoke. “Some fun?” Formaggio knows where this is going. “Yes… fun. Sex. Let’s have it right here, right now. How does $500 sound?” Oh boy, he was right. “Well, shit. I need the money. I’ll spread my ass cheeks for you. Should we do it at a nearby hotel?” “Here is good. By th...