Chapter 4: Love the Way You Lie

 

Pesci, Prosciutto, and Risotto were in the car. Risotto was driving while the two sat in the back.

“Pesci, has everything been okay with you?” the blond asked. “There’s something different about you.”

Pesci wasn’t sure why, but he remembered everything. He wasn’t sure why the others couldn’t. Did Merlin cast some sort of spell? Whatever happened, Pesci needed answers, and he believed Formaggio held the answers.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered.

“Why’d you want to come?” he continued questioning. “I thought you’d be too scared to visit the hospital.”

“I want answers.”

“I want answers, too,” Risotto commented. He facepalmed a few seconds later. “I can’t believe he got himself into this situation.”

Prosciutto laid back in his seat and sighed. “Why didn’t he fight back? Damn it, who’s going to pay for his hospital bill?”

“I will,” Pesci answers.

“Yeah, right.” He was about to rest.

“Fuck you! I can kill someone.”

Prosciutto was wide awake, unexpected with his response.

“Pesci!” Risotto called out. “What’s been up with you? You’re not acting like your normal self.”

“My normal self? And what would that be? Drinking milk and being a mammoni? I’m done being a coward. It’s either kill or get killed.”

The rest of the trip was silent. Risotto parked somewhere on the street, and the three got out of the car and quickly made their way to the hospital when it began raining. Once they got inside, Risotto approached the receptionist and asked which room Formaggio was in. After finding his room number, they headed over there.

Risotto suddenly stopped before they could enter. “I don’t know what happened,” he whispered, “but choose your words carefully. Formaggio could be suffering mentally.”

“We’re gangsters,” Pesci said. “We don’t need coddling.” He went inside, pushing Risotto out of the way.

“What the hell’s going on with him?” he asked, looking at Prosciutto.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “He hasn’t been the same since he asked questions about a guy named Shrek and Merlin.”

The two went inside the room where Pesci was in the middle of interrogating Formaggio. They could also smell piss from Formaggio and a strange scent of onion.

“It was Shrek who visited you, wasn’t it?” Pesci said.

“And? So what?” Formaggio tossed himself in the hospital bed to look away from him. “I love him.”

“He’s a piece of shit who doesn’t care for us!”

“You act as if you know him.”

“That's because we do. Merlin must’ve cast a spell to make everyone forget. You don’t remember when you and Illuso switched bodies?”

Formaggio turned to face him. “We did? Wait, how do you know this?”

“I—”

“Enough!” Risotto shouted. “Let Formaggio rest.” He looked at him. “How are you?”

He sighed. “Mentally, I am heartbroken. Physically, my asshole hurts.”

“Don’t worry, Formaggio,” Pesci said. “Once I see Shrek, I’ll kill the bastard!”

Prosciutto kicked him. “Quit it with that talk!”

“Whatever, I’m going to find him,” he said before leaving.

“If he met Shrek,” Formaggio said, “he’s probably heartbroken too.”

-

Pesci rushed to the bar Formaggio was at yesterday. It wasn’t open due to the police investigation, but the bartender stood under an umbrella. He approached him.

“Shouldn’t you be home?” Pesci asked.

“I could say the same to you,” he replied. “I doubt you’re a policeman.”

“I’m not. I want to know what happened to my friend.”

“Hell, I don’t know what freaky shit went on when the ogre appeared, but we all ran. I’m just waiting to open the bar. Damn it, why’d that shit have to happen here?”

“Do you at least know where the ogre went?”

“I tried to return to the bar and saw him exit through the fire exit.”

Pesci crossed the yellow police tape.

The bartender reached out his arms to try and stop him but hesitated. “H-hey, what are you doing?”

The bar was in shape, and it seemed like Formaggio didn’t struggle. The stench of piss and onions lingered in the air. Pesci turned his head to face the fire exit and saw it wide open. He headed outside, and nobody was there. He tried to sniff the air, hoping to follow the scent, but he wasn’t a bloodhound. 

Melone would’ve been helpful for this, but Risotto didn’t want the others to investigate what happened to Formaggio. “It’s what he wants,” Risotto had told Pesci.

Pesci sighed before someone covered his head.

“I wished you hadn’t come along,” spoke the bartender. “You and your friend. Ogre, I apologize for my reaction yesterday.”

Shrek!

Shrek knocked Pesci out before he could fight back.

-

Pesci awoke tied to a chair near a fireplace, sitting at a dining table. On the other end of the table sat Shrek. Smiling, he ate his rat stew and stopped when his eyes met Pesci’s glare. His smile died, and he placed the spoon down and wiped his mouth.

“Why am I here, Shrek?” demanded Pesci.

“So, you remember,” he replied.

“Every last second.”

“You failed to protect Arthur.”

“Do we look like the bodyguard team? You should’ve asked Bucciarati.”

“I should’ve. Look. Could we at least pretend that we don’t know each other?” Shrek got out of his seat, knelt near Pesci, and placed a hand on his cheek. “I missed you.”

Pesci tried to get away from his touch. “I can see why Fiona wanted a divorce. You never loved any of us! You’re just a horny piece of shit! Stay away from my friends! I can’t believe what you did to Formaggio!”

Shrek’s large hands grabbed the back of Pesci’s head and slammed him into the table. He got close to his ears. “Listen here! I do not want to hear this shit from you. I want to fuck, god damn it! Be grateful that Merlin cast a spell on all of you before Rohan could execute your asses.”

“Rohan was going to execute us?” Pesci’s anger lessened.

Shrek released him, letting him sit properly. “Yes. And speaking of asses, you don’t mind if we—”

“Fine!” He rolled his eyes and stripped himself of his coat, onesies, and underwear. “Make it quick.” He moved the items on the table with a quick swing of the arms, landing them on the floor, and then laid the upper part of his body on the table. His legs spread wide open, his arms widening his cheeks to entice the ogre.

Shrek rubbed his hands together. “Finally!” And without warning, he shoved his throbbing cock inside of him. No lube, nothing. Before Merlin had cast his spell, Shrek would constantly fuck each of the La Squadra members, but Pesci was his favorite fuck. He was just as nasty as he was. The memories and Pesci’s warmth were enough to make the ogre moan.

Pesci, however, wasn’t enjoying it. His hands were on the table, eyes peaking at the window to view the gloomy dark clouds rolling.

“God, you’re so tight,” Shrek commented.

He rolled his eyes. No, he wasn’t. Before they got zapped back to normal, Pesci fucked the cyclops. He never told him, but it seemed fair because Shrek slept with the cyclops’ wife. Oh, and his cock was bigger than Shrek’s.

Shrek kept thrusting Pesci for a couple of minutes until he realized the other wasn’t a moaning mess. “Uh, Pesci, how close are you?”

“Can I go home now?”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Could you at least pretend you’re enjoying this? You’re like my ex-wife.”

“Do you remember the cyclops?”

“The guy with one eye? Yeah.”

“Did you sleep with that guy’s wife without telling us?”

Shrek stopped thrusting. “N-no. What’re you talking about?”

Pesci stood straight, turned around, and looked him dead in the eye. “You’re a fucking liar.”

“Oh, and how would you know?” He crossed his arms.

“I fucked the cyclops. He worried that his wife was unfaithful, so I followed her and saw you with her.” Pesci cried, weakly punching and shoving Shrek. “You fucking piece of shit! We loved you, and you used us!”

“ You what? ” Shrek slapped Pesci’s face. It was hard enough to let the assassin fall to the floor sobbing. A red handprint was on his face.

“Piece of shit! I hate you!” He threw an unbroken plate at him.

“I’m the piece of shit? I’m the piece of shit? That’s fucking hilarious.” He grabbed his hair. “You talk about how I’m unfaithful when you’re the one who slept with the cyclops!” he yelled in his ear. “Who’s the cheater now?”

An incoherent babble was Pesci’s response. Tears and snot covered his face, and he looked pathetic. “Let go of me!”

Shrek let go of him. “ Get out! Out, out, out! ”

Pesci collected his clothes before leaving. “Fucking turd!”

Shrek sat down in his chair, palms covering his face as he sobbed.