NEMO-Buttrice

The conditions were too hot for people to be out working, but this was no problem for Ghiaccio, who returned home after a kill. He headed straight for the showers, tossing his clothes on the floor while on the way. Despite his stand powers cooling him off, he still needed to shower. Ghiaccio placed his glasses near the sink and hopped into the cold shower. The others would convince him to take warmer showers so they could have sex with him, except for Melone. But Ghiaccio rejected everybody. Shower sex sucks. Nobody was at his apartment, and he wanted some alone time. He breathed easily, hands reaching down his ass to wash them. “Nice ass,” a voice complimented. Ghiaccio turned around and let out a scream. It was an ogre with the description Formaggio described when Ghiaccio visited him. If he remembered correctly, his name was Shrek. The ogre was naked, and his thick and hardened veiny cock enticed Ghiaccio; but right now, he was pissed. “What the fuck are you doing in here? How long...

  Trish started hitting the other kids at church, making the other moms furious at Donatella. This happened frequently, but Doppio, a priest, handled things peacefully. Today, Trish punched a kid so hard that the other was bleeding. Donatella took Trish to a room to speak with her in private. “Father Doppio,” a concerned mother called out, “I understand you’re very gentle and kind towards kids, but Trish is a lost cause. Her mother had her before marriage and is still single. Pfft , I bet she’s the devil’s daughter.” “Please don’t say that,” he replied. “Donatella is trying her best to raise her.” “How long do you think Donatella is speaking to Trish? That woman needs to spank her.” “I don’t see how hitting a child would improve their behavior.” The woman sighed. “You’ve never had a child, so you wouldn’t understand. Spanking will teach them to behave.” Doppio didn’t want to argue, so he kept quiet until Donatella came out. She approac...

  Prosciutto returned to his apartment to find a weeping Pesci sitting at the dining table. He sighed. Formaggio was right. Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to handle this, but at least they weren’t in public. Prosciutto pulled a seat and sat down. “You want to talk about it?” Pesci wiped his tears and snot away and looked at him. “Talk about what?” “You went to that ogre, didn’t you?” “And?” “You didn’t kill him, did you?” Pesci burst into tears again. “I told him I was unfaithful, but he was cheating first. He slept with the cyclops’ wife! But, um, I did sleep with the cyclops and did him a favor by stalking his wife, but Shrek had been cheating on us! That’s why he assassinated Arthur and made Merlin cast a spell on us.” Prosciutto had no idea what the fuck he was talking about, but he pretended to. “There, there.” He patted his back. “What’s past is past.” “But, Prosciutto, you don’t understand! We can’t let him get away with this! H...

  Pesci, Prosciutto, and Risotto were in the car. Risotto was driving while the two sat in the back. “Pesci, has everything been okay with you?” the blond asked. “There’s something different about you.” Pesci wasn’t sure why, but he remembered everything. He wasn’t sure why the others couldn’t. Did Merlin cast some sort of spell? Whatever happened, Pesci needed answers, and he believed Formaggio held the answers. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered. “Why’d you want to come?” he continued questioning. “I thought you’d be too scared to visit the hospital.” “I want answers.” “I want answers, too,” Risotto commented. He facepalmed a few seconds later. “I can’t believe he got himself into this situation.” Prosciutto laid back in his seat and sighed. “Why didn’t he fight back? Damn it, who’s going to pay for his hospital bill?” “I will,” Pesci answers. “Yeah, right.” He was about to rest. “Fuck you! I can kill someone.” Prosciutto was wide awa...

  Formaggio sat alone at the bar with his drink, bored and playing with the bottle in his hand. Earlier, he had come to the bar hoping for a quick fuck from a pretty or handsome face, but the women’s faces looked similar, and the guys weren’t attractive. Even when he got desperate and asked, he got rejected. God, he’d been so horny since he had this dream about an ogre. He had a hard-on right now, thinking about him. Formaggio began touching the bulge in his pants. Fuck, I’ll whip it out. I don’t give a fuck anymore, he thought, unzipping his pants. I’ll just kill whoever sees me. Someone from the bar screamed, causing him to look. “It’s an ogre!” someone shouted. The rest of the bar cleared out using the fire exit. Now the ogre and Formaggio were the only ones. “You!” they both said simultaneously. “Me?” they said at the same time again. “You first.” “Damn it!” “I’m Shrek.” “I’m Formaggio.” “Well, that’s...

  Illuso peered into Sorbet’s and Gelato’s bathroom mirror, mouth agape. What in the absolute fuck? Curious, he wanted to know what the ogre would do with the shit in a cup, and so he followed him while in the mirror world. His heavy footsteps made it easy to tell where the ogre went. Viewing him from a car’s mirror, Illuso watched as the ogre drank the cup and burped, causing the brunet to vomit and cry. “I know you’re watching me, Illuso,” the ogre said. “Chanson de l’Oignon, take Illuso out of his mirror world!” The ogre summoned his stand. It looked like an onion with eyes, two arms, and two feet, and it somehow managed to get Illuso out of the mirror world. “H-how? Impossible!” The brunet trembled. “You’re coming with me.” “No!” He turned around to run away, but he tripped. “ Stay away from me! ” The ogre got close to him and hit him in the head, knocking him out. Illuso woke up on a soft, silky bed. He examined the l...

  Sorbet unlocked the door to the apartment, but Gelato walked in before him and plopped himself on the cheap, worn-out couch. They were both exhausted. Neither of them could find a single clue on the boss’s identity. However, Sorbet couldn’t help but feel like they were being watched. Instead of relaxing, he closed the blinds and curtains in their apartment. It was dark. Gelato tried to flip on the lights, but Sorbet told him not to. “Babe, you’re paranoid! Nobody is going to know what we did,” the blond commented. “You don’t know that!” he murmured. “When we were looking back, I saw this green-haired man.” “Pesci?” “Pesci? No! Why would it be Pesci?” “Well, he gets around.” Sorbet sighed. “I’ll never understand why people name their stands after songs and bands. Just hush! Find our guns, just in case.” Gelato got up from the couch and rushed into the bedroom. He checked under the bed, searching for the gun case. He brought it out and opened...

  The aroma of homemade coffee and scones woke Doppio from his slumber. He checked the calendar, flipped it over to May, headed downstairs to where Risotto was and sat at the table. His boyfriend had already placed a scone and a cup of coffee for him. “Good morning,” he said, pouring a cup of coffee. He walked over to the table. “How’d you sleep?” “Slept like a log.” “That’s good.” He sat down across the table. Doppio looked out the window. It was a sunny day out with a gentle breeze. The last couple of months had been rainy and cold, causing the two to stay trapped inside their home. “Finally, we have some nice weather.” “The temperatures have been strangely low,” Risotto commented. “But it wasn’t going to be winter forever. Anyways, what are we going to do today?” Doppio pondered. We haven’t been to the beach in a while. What if we got naked? He blushed at the thought. Risotto noticed and grinned, rubbing his naked foot between...

  “I can remain calm,” Ghiaccio tried to convince himself, looking at the traffic right in front of him. There were tons of cars in front and behind him, stretching for miles. Judging from that, it seemed like he’ll be here all day. It was a hot day too. Luckily for Ghiaccio, he can cool himself off. If only he could cool off that hot-headedness of his. “ Fuck! ” Ghiaccio yelled. “This is ridiculous!” yelled a woman. “Come on! I need to shit!” yelled a man. There were cars honking, a baby was crying, and someone was playing their loudly obnoxious music. The blue-haired man gripped the steering wheel tightly because he wanted to strangle all these people. Keep honking, he said in his mind, because surely it’ll keep traffic moving. And to the guy with the music, you have no taste. To the woman who looks like Melone, shut your damn baby up! Suddenly, he got a call from Melone. He answered the phone. “ What? ...

  “Have you ever had 22 inches of meat in your mouth?” Kira asked Dio as he was holding his sausage sandwich, which was 22 inches long. Diavolo was sitting next to them, interested in the conversation. “I’ve had bigger when I was human,” Dio replied. “What about you, Diavolo? I’m pretty sure you probably had plenty of meat in your life.” The pink-haired man started sweating. “Yeah, I’ve had lots of sausages in my life. Italian--” “Of course,” Kira responded. “I do enjoy some Italian salami,” Dio commented. “I-I got to go,” Diavolo said, excusing himself from the restaurant table. Shit, I’ve never sucked cock before in my life. “I wonder what’s gotten into him?” the blond vampire said. “I don’t know, but this talk about meat is getting me hungry.” Kira took a huge bite of his sandwich. “This talk about sausages has me craving for a different type of sausage.” Dio winked at Kira. “Oh?” Kira blushed. “Wait, let me finish th...

  Shrek was in Rohan’s office, but he was not there. He looked at the small pile of paper neatly stacked together. “Busy as always,” he spoke to himself. He remembered when he first met Rohan. It was right after he divorced his wife and asked Merlin to take him away from this world. He never specified where he wanted to be, but somehow, he ended up in Morioh, Japan. A lot of things happened, such as meeting an alien and getting stuck by an arrow. It was insane how fast things were moving, but he ended up meeting Rohan and falling in love with him. Shrek sighed. I didn’t know what I had , he thought. Before he was about to leave, he heard footsteps. Without thinking, he hid inside the closet. He heard giggles and somebody kissing. Curious, he slightly opened the door and peeped. It was Rohan and Risotto. Rohan was on the desk while Risotto was kissing him all over his neck. The capo’s hands slithered under the other’s shirt. “I think you...