Chapter 1: 2 Twinks 1 Cup

 

Sorbet unlocked the door to the apartment, but Gelato walked in before him and plopped himself on the cheap, worn-out couch. They were both exhausted. Neither of them could find a single clue on the boss’s identity. However, Sorbet couldn’t help but feel like they were being watched. Instead of relaxing, he closed the blinds and curtains in their apartment. It was dark. Gelato tried to flip on the lights, but Sorbet told him not to.

“Babe, you’re paranoid! Nobody is going to know what we did,” the blond commented.

“You don’t know that!” he murmured. “When we were looking back, I saw this green-haired man.”

“Pesci?”

“Pesci? No! Why would it be Pesci?”

“Well, he gets around.”

Sorbet sighed. “I’ll never understand why people name their stands after songs and bands. Just hush! Find our guns, just in case.”

Gelato got up from the couch and rushed into the bedroom. He checked under the bed, searching for the gun case. He brought it out and opened it, revealing the three pistols. Sorbet only used one pistol while Gelato preferred dual-wielding pistols.

Sorbet then barbed in the room and said, “Do you hear that?”

The two stood still and quiet, concentrating on their surroundings. A scream echoed a cry for help. “Secco,” they heard, “where are you? I’m bit!”

“Is the zombie apocalypse here?” Gelato asked with a whisper.

Sorbet hushed him and covered his mouth.

“Secco? Where– What are you? This feeling… Is this what– Ah !”

There was a loud crunching and chewing sound.

“Someone’s being eaten,” Sorbet commented. “If it was a zombie apocalypse, a lot of things would be happening right now, so it can’t be a zombie. It’s something else. What would eat a human?”

Gelato thought for a few seconds. “An ogre?”

“Like a fairy tale? No way. That’s not real. Maybe it is a zombie apocalypse, and people are smarter than I thought. Stay silent, just in case.”

According to the sound of heavy footsteps, whoever or whatever ate the yelling stranger moved away. They were getting closer to their apartment.

“Hand me my gun,” Sorbet demanded.

After Gelato offered him his gun, they both moved out of the bedroom and into the living room, pointing their guns at the door. Gelato's arms trembled. Then he glanced at his lover, hoping he was more composed than he was. Sorbet’s arms were shaking more than his.

Sorbet wished one of their teammates was here, preferably Risotto. Their stands were not designed to fight, but to gather information. “Gelato, my love, in another lifetime, let’s not look for the boss.”

“Don’t say that!”

“Fuck!” Sorbet was loud this time. “We weren’t even fucking close to finding out his identity. We couldn’t find shit! Gelato, just know that I love you. I’m so sorry.”

“Babe, whatever is coming towards us, I’m sure we can handle it.”

Someone knocked on the door.

“Is anyone there?” said a voice. The voice was different from the one yelling before. Based on their accent, they knew this person was Scottish. What’s a Scottish person doing in Italy? “I took care of some guys who looked like they didn’t belong here. You’re safe.”

“What do you want?” Sorbet asked, gun still pointing at the door.

“This may sound a bit odd, but I was hoping to watch you guys have sex.”

“What the fuck?” Sorbet blurted.

“I mean, I was hoping we could have sex once we returned home,” Gelato said. “Maybe he could watch us.”

The black-haired man quickly turned toward his lover. “What the hell is wrong with you? We don’t even know what this guy looks like?”

“Well, I don’t care what he looks like. I just want to have sex.”

Sorbet sighed. “Fine, sir,” he said, speaking to the man behind the door, “we’ll let you in. Hurt us and you’ll regret it.” He then whispered to Gelato, “Keep your guns pointed at the door.”

The black-haired man walked towards the door. Grabbing the doorknob, he felt his heart beat faster. Fuck, what if the boss hired this guy, and the other guy was just some random person? he thought.

Opening the door, he saw the enormous green ogre. Blood covered his mouth and shirt.

“My name is Shrek. Yes, I’m not human. I’m an ogre. How I got here is a long story. May I come in?”

Although he intended to say no, his tone sounded sad. Did he expect him to say no? “Sure, please, come in. Make yourself right at home.”

When Shrek entered, Sorbet closed the door, locking it. Gelato put his guns down, despite his lover not ordering him to.

“My,” Shrek said, “it’s a tad dark in here. Your boss must want your head on a platter. Mind if I turn on the lights?”

“Sure,” Sorbet answered. How did he know?

“You’re probably wondering how did I know? Again, a long story and I don’t feel like explaining it at the moment. I’m a bit frustrated at the moment. How about I watch you guys go at it first? Maybe you guys could start by kissing? What I’m going to ask next might be a little bit… kinky.”

Gelato smiled. “We can handle kinky. Probably not as kinky as Melone, but yeah, we’re a bit freaky.”

“Let’s just start with you two kissing for now.”

“Alright,” Sorbet said, “I’m not used to people watching, but I’ll try to pretend you’re not there.”

Gelato and Sorbet sat down on the couch. The black-haired one’s heart was beating fast. The blond placed his hand on his cheek, trying to comfort him.

“Babe, just pretend he’s not there,” he whispered.

Sorbet leaned in to kiss him. It was short and sweet. Next, he planted more short kisses but this time on his cheeks, his eyelids, and his neck. Gelato moved his body closer to his and gave him a bruising kiss. He licks the bottom of his lips, tasting blood. Sorbet must’ve bit his lip sometime before. Meanwhile, the other wrapped his arms around him, embracing him. The two withdrew for a couple of seconds, catching their breath. Their hearts raced as they looked at each other.

“God, I love looking at you,” Sorbet commented.

“Just take me,” Gelato said. “Fuck me now!”

“Hey,” Shrek interrupted, “can I maybe pull my pants down?”

“I don’t mind. Go fully naked if you want,” the blond said.

The two Italians took off their clothes, tossing them aside. Both of them were hard. As for the ogre, he brought out his dick. It was getting hard. Gelato couldn’t help but look at his length.

“Wow, you’re huge,” he commented.

Shrek grabbed his cock and began stroking slowly. “Just do your thing. I want more action.”

Gelato pushed Sorbet onto the couch and tackled him with kisses. He then stroked both their cocks together while making out. The blond tried to keep an eye on Shrek. He was stroking a bit faster. Gelato sat up straight, trying to position his entrance over Sorbet’s cock.

“Babe, are you sure you want to do this?” the black-haired man asked.

“Yeah, what could go wrong?”

“Stop!” Shrek yelled.

“Did we do something wrong?” Gelato asked.

“It’s not that. It’s just that I’m kind of tired of watching people have anal. I want something different.”

“Ear sex?” the blond guessed.

Sorbet gave him a concerned look.

“No, no! Um, what I’m about to ask may seem gross.”

“Hey, I love golden showers,” Gelato guessed again.

“I’m thinking something much worse than that. I won’t blame you for saying no.”

“Does it involve shitting?” Sorbet asked. Ugh, he could feel his stomach churn.

“Yes, and a bit of vomiting.”

“Never done anything like that before,” Gelato whispered to his lover. “I’ll let you vomit in my mouth. Not looking forward to the shitting part.”

“Hold on!” Shrek said. “You don’t have to eat the vomit or shit. I just want to see it happen. Oh, and can you please shit in a cup for me?”

This isn’t happening, Sorbet thought. While he was glad he didn’t have to eat any of that, he was still disgusted. Most importantly, he was very concerned by how thrilled Gelato was. He wasn’t serious about the vomiting part, was he? These disgusting actions he was being asked to do were making him vomit.

“Hey, babe,” Gelato grabbed his attention, “you don’t look well. You look like you’re about to– Oh! I didn’t know we were starting.”

The blond bent his knees a little and opened his mouth. Sorbet puked in his mouth, unable to handle this. Gelato spat it out and vomited on the floor.

“Disgusting,” he said.

Sorbet puked once more and coughed. “Fuck, oh god!”

Shrek was stroking himself faster, and it looked like he was about to cum. “Yes, yes. Excellent! Find a cup. Start shitting.”

“I’ll find a cup, a plastic one,” Gelato said before searching for some cups.

“Could we please move this to the bathroom?” Sorbet yelled at Shrek.

The ogre looked at the vomit staining the carpet. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

“Found the cup!” the blond yelled, holding up a plastic red cup.

The three of them then went to the bathroom. Despite it being a place of filthy business, Sorbet made sure it did not smell like shit. Instead, it was sparkling clean and smelled of fresh flowers.

“Since we’re in the bathroom,” Sorbet said, “can we please shit on the toilet instead?”

“I want to keep the shit,” Shrek replied.

Why do you want our shit? He wanted to ask.

“When I heard the crunching sound, I was ready to shit myself there,” Gelato said.

“Was the crunching sound that loud? Well, I do like eating the bones,” the ogre replied.

“I think I’m going to puke again,” Sorbet commented. “But I don’t want to vomit again!”

“Please don’t. It’s bad for your teeth. I don’t think we can afford a dental visit. Anyway, I should go first.”

Gelato squatted down and shitted in the cup. Sorbet quickly looked away. He could’ve sworn he heard the ogre moan. The stench in the air caused him to pinch his nose.

“Are you done yet?” Sorbet asked.

“Yeesh, you can’t like your shit doesn’t stink,” Gelato answered. “Yeah, I’m done.”

The dark-haired man looked at the cup that was halfway filled with shit. “Oh, that is disgusting. Do I have to do this?”

“I’m close to coming. Please, shit yourself,” Shrek said.

“We can’t deny this guy, babe!”

“I might go to church after this…”

He walked towards the cup and squatted down. He struggled to poop. Instead, he let out a toot, causing Gelato to laugh. Sorbet was furiously blushing. “I might need some laxatives.”

The blond sighed. “I’ll be back.” He returned with a white bottle and a spoon. Sorbet examined the bottle and saw a picture of a cherry.

“Yuck, cherry flavor?” he complained.

“You want to get this over with, correct?”

Sorbet nodded.

“Then drink this. It works fast.” He poured some medicine on the spoon. “Don’t pout. I’ve never seen you act this childish. If you want to be that way then– Here comes the train!”

“Not in front of this guy!” Sorbet yelled at him.

“ Open your mouth! ”

Sorbet opened his mouth wide. The spoon went in, and he drank the medicine. He was about to vomit for the third time until his stomach decided to shit instead.

“Holy shit!” Gelato screamed. “Gross, it’s all liquidy. It’s on the floor too!”

Shrek came. “Well, I came. I saw. I’ll be taking that cup now.” Sorbet moved out of the way. The ogre took the cup, making sure the filled cup didn't spill. “Later!”

Sorbet wasn’t sure what the fuck just happened, but he hopes he never does that ever again.

“Hey, babe,” Gelato spoke, “since we didn’t fuck, do you want to–”

“ No! ”