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Chapter 5: Prosciutto Eats a Shit Sandwich
Prosciutto returned to his apartment to find a weeping Pesci sitting at the dining table. He sighed. Formaggio was right. Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to handle this, but at least they weren’t in public. Prosciutto pulled a seat and sat down. “You want to talk about it?” Pesci wiped his tears and snot away and looked at him. “Talk about what?” “You went to that ogre, didn’t you?” “And?” “You didn’t kill him, did you?” Pesci burst into tears again. “I told him I was unfaithful, but he was cheating first. He slept with the cyclops’ wife! But, um, I did sleep with the cyclops and did him a favor by stalking his wife, but Shrek had been cheating on us! That’s why he assassinated Arthur and made Merlin cast a spell on us.” Prosciutto had no idea what the fuck he was talking about, but he pretended to. “There, there.” He patted his back. “What’s past is past.” “But, Prosciutto, you don’t understand! We can’t let him get away with this! H...









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